Today is the day…

Today is the day that I would of checked your weekly growth.  I would of been so excited to see the long list of things you have accomplished so far.  I have known that you were growing and that your heart beat beautiful rhythms inside of me, but I would have been excited to know that your vocal cords were forming and this week you would … [Read more...]

I see my baby sister…

Yesterday as I was driving with Ilana to a friends house for a play date, she surprised me once again by saying something that tugged at my heart.  We were cruising along and suddenly she exclaims with her pointed finger up to the sky, "I see my baby sister!"  I looked back and saw her seriousness and knew right away it wasn't going to be … [Read more...]

Dont Bless Me…

Last night Daddy was putting Ilana to bed while I was at class.  He read to her, sang her Amazing Grace (which she just loves to hear Daddy sing it) and then they prayed.  Daddy always prays first, mommy 2nd, Tanner, then Ilana.  But last night it was just them two.  Daddy prayed and then passed the ballet off to Ilana.  … [Read more...]

One Big Sigh!

Finally its all hit at it seemed to sneak around the corner at me from time to time, I was expecting it.  Common enough, its not sorrow, pity, sadness or anything of the sort.  Instead its the heightened awareness of judgement and skepticism around me that enables me to sleek away from everything and everyone easier.  … [Read more...]

Farewell Space Shuttle Discovery Last Launch STS-133 November 2010 2010

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Bubblegum, Chocolate Bars, & Tootsie Pops!

  My butt is growing bigger and bigger as I sit here, the Internet beckons me in the wee hrs of the morning til late late at night.  My anticipation for our future plans keeps bringing me back to this swivel stool and today I snatched the kids' candy to enlarge my hiney even more.  As I munch on bubblegum, chocolate bars, & … [Read more...]

Deeper Than the Holler — Randy Travis

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Refreshed, Revived, yet stinking Tired!

  The last few 8 weeks have been an incredible madness in itself.  We lost our baby on Sept 1, a week later was back in our Dr office for a checkup.  I was totally offended by the flaky comment the Dr made as we entered for our post-op inspection, "Are you ready to come back?  O, by the way, you don't have another ectopic … [Read more...]

The Last of the Rewinds

This is my last entry of focusing on the past.  There are many things that have happened in between posts that I may share later but hopefully today we will be up to speed and ready to talk about where God has brought me and where He continues to lead me.  I have put off posting for a few days trying to bear my teeth back into this newest … [Read more...]

Rewind Part 4

Your probably wondering if my "rewind" posts are ever going to end.  Hopefully, I can quickly get you up to speed so we can start chatting about the future & what amazing things it holds.  For now, we are back to our story.Once upon a time in Guatemala.... The trip there was painful but theraputic.  It was as if I could pretend … [Read more...]

Rewind Part 3

   That was the beginning of our 2nd miscarriage...babies #3, 4, & 5 followed shortly after.  Within 2 years we had lost a total of 5 sweethearts.  I was on a mission to find out what was enabling us to carry forward.  I was grieving terribly and quite honestly alone.  Most people show empathy after your 1st and … [Read more...]

Back to the Rewind…

      That time of my life seems as it went by like a whirlwind, very quickly and leaving deep scars.  I remember only focused moments, most likely because everything that was in-between was sopped with tears.  We went to the Bluffton ER and met a very nice doctor directly after my positive test.  He was … [Read more...]

Day 1…Rewind to the past

   We started our "wanna baby" voyage back in 1998.  I was just dating my husband at the time but news was that we were gonna be married :)  After having delivering a healthy son previously to knowing my dear Chad, I was certain that when he & I were ready to "try" we would have no problems at success.  In … [Read more...]

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