When Your “I do’s” Turn Ugly #LookingUp

When the i do's turn ugly

As you approached your wedding vows with confidence, you proudly stated your “I do’s,” and they probably sounded something like…

I do in better times

I do in worse times 

I do in rich times

I do in poor times

I do in sick times

I do in healthy times

I do in love until death separates us

And traditionally that is the vow or promise that you agreed to in front of your friends and family.

That is what you agreed to in the presence of God, and most likely you bent your posture in prayer before they announced you husband and wife…sealing the deal…and you were happy!

What a blessing!  What an honor!

To be grafted into a union with another person to live the rest of  your life with,  forever.

To never be alone and to always be loved by someone who will grow old with you.

And so it began…


But, what if things changed after your wedding day and you are no longer saying “I do” to the things you originally pictured?

What if you are saying I do to cancer or a sickness that requires you to sacrifice everything for your spouses care?

What if your spouse has a disorder that makes him do or say things that brings heartache?

What if he is addicted to alcohol?

What if he doesn’t show you love like you thought he would?


What if your I do to poor times turned into a I do to financial difficulty that seems beyond repair?  What if your debt is overloading or you are struggling with losing your home?

What if  your husband is a huge spender or not a great provider?

What if your I do to worse times are nothing you could have imagined?

What if he could care less about the things of God and never goes with you to church?

What if he doesn’t spend time with the kids and drops the ball as a father and a husband repeatedly?  What if it looks far worse then the marriages around you?

What if you feel like you don’t love him anymore?

I guarantee you that your marriage looks nothing as you planned.  It may not look as I described above but we all have had expectations of our spouses that they may never live up to.  From aggravating circumstances that make our marriage very difficult to subtle indifference’s that make it less enjoyable, there is a bit of tweaking that could be of benefit.

Now if only we could make them change!!  Or make the situation change!!

Unfortunately we don’t have the power to do that but we do however have the power to be responsible for our own selves & our reactions to our circumstances.

We can control our actions.  We can control what we say, think, feel, and respond to.  We have the power to walk away in a discussion or escalate it and above all, we have the power to pray!

Why should we pray?

Because underneath all the junk you really want to be loved by this man that you still desire to be in love with.  And because prayer is the only thing that has the ability to change things.


So what do we do for this man to change things?

What do we give to make it better?

What do we say to fix this thing?

Here is the answer:  NOTHING.

There is nothing you can do, nothing you can give, nothing you can say.

Actually, you are about as helpless as they come…which makes it such a blessing that you have Jesus!

The one and only thing you can do to survive this and come out on top is pray!

Prayer is the only thing that is capable of supplying you with exactly what you need.  The Holy Spirit grieves to the Father on our behalf…He does it in such a way that the Lord says that is sounds like moans & groans…in other words it’s deep internal begging with all of His heart!  He does this for you, me, & our spouses.

Read this next part slow…don’t miss this.

Even if we don’t have the words to say or frankly don’t understand our true needs, every time we open our mouths in prayer…the Spirit seconds it by saying to our Daddy exactly what we need in intricate detail down to our created fibers.  Because the Holy Spirit is God…and God knew that we don’t exactly understand what it is we need at times to be prosperous.  He knows that we get stuck and look around with no words to say at times. 

So, as gracious as only He is, He allows His own Spirit to represent me & you, back to Himself, in order that He can have the requests that He knows we really need…and then He can answer them.


Isn’t that incredible!!  So, sit with the Father…you don’t necessarily need the words.  Just sit and simply say…”I don’t know my needs…but I know I need you…help me pray alongside your Spirit.”

Prayers = power

Power = Jesus

Jesus = transformation

May our marriages all be transformed into something we eagerly would stand at the alter again for.

Thank you for reading today!!  If you are visiting, I just want to say how glad I am that you stopped by.  If you are a blogger, please take a minute and link up below.  It’s easy, just press the link up button and copy/paste your favorite links from your own blog.  This is a great way to read what others are writing and share your platforms.  I hope you see you all again next week!

🙂  Amy


 Loading InLinkz ...
Share:Share on FacebookPin on PinterestEmail to someoneTweet about this on Twitter

Lessons in Mushroom Hunting

(A favorite post from my archives)

I went mushroom hunting the other day.

As I was putting on my boots, I imagined great success in gathering them all up and frying them with a touch of butter & salt in the skillet.

A few days ago we went with a group of our neighbors and scoured a huge woods in the the hopes of bringing home dinner.  As everyone started inching themselves along, I found myself alone and out of view of the others.  I started talking with God about the mushrooms…sounds goofy I know, but why not.

I was asking Him to highlight them to me so that I may be able to spot one.  Sure enough almost as soon as the thought left my mind, I spotted a big spike with a nice yellow stalk..standing so tall and proud.  You get so excited when you find one, maybe its because there are tons of foliage all around and so very few mushrooms.  Its like finding gold in a pit of mud, he just stood out & appeared so valuable.  I was hesitate to tell anyone I found any, for they all swarm so quickly in hopes that its a good patch.

I picked him up and carefully put him in my plastic sack, wanting him to stay nice and safe so I could show him off  later.  As I went to wander off in search of more, I heard a challenge in my mind to stay put and ask God again to highlight another.  I didn’t see the harm in it so again I asked the Lord, please show me another for I don’t know where they could be.

Sure enough another spike stood tall!

This time I thought that if I stood on the spot that He just showed me, and looked around, waiting… that maybe I could spot another.  One led to another led to another to another and soon I had large amount of mushrooms.  All along I was in conversation with God about how much it pleases me to find one in the midst of this forest community.

As I stooped to pick up a beautiful spike barely peeking out from underneath some leaves, I heard the verse….”Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”  I listened as God showed me that life is very much like the “game” I was playing with Him in the woods.  Each choice is like a mushroom, if I ask Him which way to go, and listen..and sometimes wait…He Will show me the next step.  Each time I stand where He places me, He will highlight the way for the next spot.

Sometimes as I found one, I would see another just a bit off…and He would tell me, pick the one I showed you first then gather the next one.  Pick them in the order I show you.  He would tell me how important it was to take my eyes off the 2nd one until the first one was safely in the bag.  I could see how vital it was to pay close attention to the step I was on and to take care of that task first before looking ahead to what was waiting for me.  Once I was so excited about what I saw in the distance that I left the first one and practically tripped over my feet for the 2nd & 3rd one to find out that they wasn’t mushrooms at all, they were merely leaves mocking what I was looking for.  It caused me to fail the step I was supposed to be on..only to be deceived into grabbing for something that was not what it seemed.

My last spot of the day had me waiting for quite a while for the next “pick”
I kept asking, please highlight it to me…and I would wait. I saw some downed logs nearby and thought that it looked like the perfect area for molds to grow so I tromped over there knowing the small voice in my mind said to remain where I was.  Ignoring my instinct, I rushed over and searched rapidly for a quick peek.  After several minutes and no avail, I remembered a lesson I have learned many times before and that is “If you don’t know where God wants you to be, go to the last place He put you…and wait.”  I humbly walked back seeking for the exact spot I found my last pick…as I knew I couldn’t find it & that the sun was going down, I decided to call it quits.

As we walked out of the woods I was thankful for what I just learned.

The next morning I went to the Dr. and was told our baby’s chromosome testing had came back.  She was a healthy girl…but we would never know her this side of heaven.

Heavy information…my mind fluttered of images that played out inside my head.
What our lives could of looked like…
What she would have looked like…
What her voice would of sounded like…
How happy Ilana would of been to have a baby sister…
How even more empty the nursery is, now that I know she is a girl…

The burden is so hard to bear.  I cried to God…what should I do, how can I stop this from happening again..why is my body rejecting my own children???

I stood on that spot of questions and waited, and because of the teachings from the day before, I know that it’s best for me to remain here til He highlights my next “pick”.

 Where should I go Lord…What should we do…We are waiting on You.

You can find me linked-up on these fabulous blogs!

Share:Share on FacebookPin on PinterestEmail to someoneTweet about this on Twitter

Stay Informed!!!

Sign Up For Our Mailing List and Stay In The Know!